-----Thinking-----

.

Some come out weeping loudly

Some weeping quiet tears -

Some come out jumping wildly

Some crawling with their fears -

Some come out smiling broadly

Some biting their dirty nails -

Some come out fighting mildly

Some bring out their full entrails -

I wonder what they are thinking?

　

I come out shouting strongly

and sometimes wipe my eyes

　

I come out skipping softly

Timid of what lies

　

I come out smiling sometimes

Sometimes sobbing with my pain

　

I come out challenging thoughts

and some times feel insane...

　

I wonder what Im thinking?

LOVE IS SWEET---BY HUNTER HILL AGE 6

Love is sweet
from me to you
you sent me love
then I sent you love too
Love means that you gave it to me
then I give it to you....

Circle of Confusion

Lost in a circle of confusion
Traveling through a tunnel of time
Trying to figure out all of this mess
That is going through my mind.

The tunnel seems to get longer
the walls somewhat caving in
Must find a way to escape
Without breaking in the end.

The circle seems to go nowhere
but round and round and round
confusion seems to linger
I hope one day Ill be found.

The meaning of Christmas.....

Christmas.   Again.  

As a non believer I have to find other reasons why Christmas is special to me.  I have many, thankfully.  I have memories of the joy I experienced growing up and waiting for "Santa" to come.  I love seeing this and experiencing this through my childrens eyes.  This morning my kids woke up and pitter pattered into the the living room and read their letter from Santa.  They were so excited.  I wanted to cry.  We then sat and opened presents and giggled with excitement and enjoyed being together.  This is what it is about to me....Traditions....Creating traditions. 

I dont need a God to experience the love and excitement of Christmas.  I enjoy the family and togetherness the holiday brings.  Don't get me wrong....Im glad that I have friends that embrace their Gods.  Congrats to the communities you guys seem to create rather then the opinions I seem to get when I say I dont believe.  I just think I should point out though in a non judgemental way that I too had a nice Christmas.  I experienced it my way.   I too have nice Easters..I just prefer to laugh about the Easter Bunny pooping chocolate eggs instead of the religious aspects.  Maybe its just me......   Merry Christmas All...Peace.

Where will I be?

Where will I be when the world crashes down?
Who will I be when there's no-one around?
What can I feel when theres no feelings at all...?
a wall....a block of emotion.....numb.

How can I smile...When there is so much pain?
Rain on a sunny day...
Clouds in a blue sky.

Who will I become when I have lost me....?
Me?

Where can I run to when theres no path to follow?
An imaginary line that I have to draw on my own.
A road with a ton of intersections.
No map to guide me

Where will I be when I realize the truth?
The world ending at a rapid pace
no turning back time
it goes on
and so do I.......

Who will I be in the end?

Free Write 2

Today I realized I am ten years older.  Ten fucking years older.  It took awhile but I realized it.  On 9/11/2001 I turned 22 years old.  I was 6 months pregnant with my oldest son. I was newly married.  I was in my early twenties!  Just like that 10 years older.  What happens with time?  What do you do when you realize you cant have it back?  Push forward....Make everything out of what you have left .....What you have left could be days...weeks...months...years...decades.   You just never know.  I lost a friend this week.  He was 39 years old.  Its not the first 39 year old I have seen die.  He was about to get married and start a new life...Gone.  No second chance.   Gone.  No mulligan because you were close but didn't quite do it right...just gone.  I hope...he accomplished a portion of what he hoped for at the very least.  He was a good guy. 
Ten years from now...Where will I be?  Where will you be ?  I hope not....Gone.

The Moon in the sky

You are a moon in the sky
a lullaby at bedtime
A cry of happiness
A bear hug when I'm surrounded by kittens

You are my breath of fresh air
When the forests are burning
My go to in a "moment"
A cold drink on a hot day
A sunset on the beach

Your what I desire on a not so desirable day
A painful burn with oil that is soothed by aloe
You are what seems like 20,000 miles away
at my finger tips.

You are my music when the speakers are blown
My sunshine that breaks through a cloudy day
My smile when my face is stuck in a frown
You are my upright...when I am upside down.

You are.