MAYBE IT'S JUST ME

Maybe it's  just me
Maybe I am the luck of the draw
all the time
Maybe it's just me
Maybe I can not get it right
even when I try to get it wrong
Maybe its just me
standing in the shadows looking for the light
like the moon in the sky on a dark city night
It never compares to the country view
Maybe it's just me.  Maybe I don't see the positive
when it's dancing around
or the negative when it stares me right in the eye.
Maybe it's just me...The big city girl with a small city heart
lost in an intersection of offramps that go nowhere but back to the highway
Maybe it's just me
sometimes I see it my way and no other way at all
and sometimes think i can't possibly be right
with no in between
Maybe it's just me ..too simple when really it should be complex
Too far up when really its underground
confused in the sentences that roll through my mind
on any given moment...sometimes.
Maybe it's just me
the music in the silence
the sound thats sometimes loud
even when you are whispering
about me...when it can't possibly be me you are talking about
but maybe that's just me
Over analyzing the situation when there's nothing really to talk about
When everything needs to be said with no words at all.
The girl who sees the picture
when the negative is clearly exposed
and there's nothing to develop
but it's a beautiful scene
with much ugliness..
Just me....Trying to figure out life
when ultimately it ends and you never know when
or why or how cause you aren't around..You are gone
but still here in everyones heart
Maybe it's just me
A free thinker about God or no God cause really it seems ridiculous
but hey everyone has their opinions right? So let em believe it
or challenge it...if you are like me....You wouldn't care
because maybe no one matters but me and you.....

Sometimes its hard to let go......

Sometimes it is hard to let go.

My son is 9.  He is growing faster then I ever thought was possible.  Sure people always give that advice "Enjoy them they grow fast."  Really I just nodded and to myself thought..."I wish people would stop saying this".  It is true though.  Yesterday, it seems like....I was holding my little Ooga Booga in my arms.  He was a 7 pound 2 ounce bundle of pure happiness.  There was nothing in the world that could make my smile bigger.  He was my baby boy.  The years just flew.  Today is here.  Tomorrow he will be older.  Who would think it could be so hard to let go?  Sure I enjoy every second.  Every time he turns a different age I think.."This is the best age."  It always is.   Sometimes its just hard to let go.  I want him to enjoy life but I panic when the opportunities arise.  Tomorrow is going to the coast for two days and I am literally stressed  out of my mind.  I want everything to be perfect. I want him to be safe.  I want to be there if he hurts himself.  I can't always be there and that is the hard part.  Sometimes its just hard to let go.  It will be a fun weekend though with Hunter..who is 6 and my second panic attack in the making.  I'm not ready for him to not be my baby yet.  Sometimes its just hard to let go.......My boys are amazing. 

Stepping Stone

Along  the river

Where the rocks glisten in the sun

The trees sway in the wind

Birds fly through the air.

I am a stepping stone in the sand

Im there to hold you when your fears arrive

To catch your tears on my shoulder when you feel worthless

Along the path of darkness and despair

Where the train tracks run through the valley

Where the dry grass gently sways

Where you go to forget

Im there-A stepping stone in the sand

To catch your tears on my shoulder when you feel worthless

In the dark hours of night

When the moon hovers over and shines to the ground

Rain falls on the rooftops

While lying awake thinking of the day

Im there-A stepping stone in the dark

To catch your tears on my shoulder when you feel worthless.

So Ill be your stepping stone for now

But at least thank me when you’re through

After all you wouldn’t want someone

Stepping on you….

Butterfly

Opening
A new beginning
wide spreading
of wings
I am
a butterfly

Kaleidoscope

It’s like a kaleidoscope sometimes looking at the world

Distorted pictures within a house of mirrors

But how do you find meaning when everything can change

A variegated pattern or scene

If you look through your box and point it to a mountain

Does it still look like a  mountain

Or is it just little bits of paper all different colors

Messing  with the images in your brain.

If you pointed the kaleidoscope at yourself what would others see looking into it

Would it always  change

Would you be the image that you wanted them to  see

Would you constantly be crashing and blending into different shapes and images

Would you still be  yourself

A complicated image or being

If you pointed your pebble box to the sky

Would the stars still seem as bright or as many

Would the night re arrange

Would the stars be everything you wanted them to be

Constantly twinkling and leaving you in wonder

A endless world of universes

Colliding.